all that matters
by autumn midnights
Summary: Lavender has a tough day at work, Parvati comforts her, and something blooms. Light femslash. Post-DH.


_Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter._

* * *

They move in together after the war.

It isn't instantaneous, of course. Lavender is rushed to St. Mungo's after the Battle of Hogwarts, and she remains there for a few weeks until the Healers determine that she isn't a full werewolf, and her scars have healed up enough to the point where reopening them is less of a concern. She goes home after that.

Parvati spends some time assisting in the Hogwarts rebuilding effort - which starts only two days after the Battle ends, because some of the structures are so weakened that there's potential for even more damage - and then goes home with her sister.

But being home is...strange. It's not a _bad_ kind of strange, and Parvati's parents are nothing but loving, but it's such an abrupt switch. She has spent the past eight months scared and angry and exhausted, fighting a guerrilla resistance against the Carrows. She had been subjected to the Cruciatus - sure, only one detention, nothing compared to Neville or Seamus, but it was traumatic nonetheless. She had lost track of how many nights she only caught a few hours' sleep, because classes, meals, D.A. meetings, and NEWT-level homework were enough to keep anyone up for twenty hours of the day, not to mention the insomnia that reared its ugly head whenever she felt particularly anxious.

To go from all of this to back home, with Mum telling her that it's her turn to wash up after a meal, or her parents requesting that she doesn't stay out past midnight, feels utterly ridiculous at times.

Lavender feels similarly. She tells Parvati how her mum frets and worries to the point it's over-the-top, and how her dad says she's being ridiculous any time wolfish traits slip out.

In early August they're wandering around Diagon Alley, window-shopping, and they see that the flat above Madam Malkin's is available to be rented. "Should we look?" Parvati says.

"Why not?" Lavender responds, and by the end of the month, the flat is theirs.

* * *

The flat is dim when Parvati gets home from her shift at the Leaky Cauldron that night in December, and she frowns. It's barely past seven at night; there's no way that Lavender is asleep. If anything, she'd become even more of a night owl since August. Parvati's assumed it's a combination of nocturnal wolfishness, insomnia, and the newfound freedom of living without parents or professors around. She's pretty sure that Lavender hasn't fallen asleep before midnight the entire time they've been living in the flat.

"Lav?" Parvati's hand hovers over her wand, just in case something's up. She doesn't think she'll ever shake the paranoia. '_Constant_ _vigilance_,' she thinks sardonically.

"In m'room." Lavender's voice is small.

Her hand relaxes slightly, and she pushes open the door. Her eyes take a moment to adjust, and then she sees Lavender, laying on her side on the bed, staring at the wall.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"It's so stupid," Lavender says.

"What's stupid?" Parvati puts her wand on the bedside stand and slides onto the mattress, facing the back of Lavender's head. "Did something happen at work?"

"Yes, and it's _dumb, _and I don't know why it's bothering me so much." Lavender sighs.

"Customers are dumb," Parvati says. "Believe me, I understand. Did I tell you I broke a glass last week? This old bloke sat down, took one look at me, and started talking to me and telling me his order so slowly. I knew he thought I wouldn't speak English well. And I went in the back to get his stuff, and no one was back there, and I just - I was so angry that I flung a glass at the wall."

Lavender manages a small chuckle. "You didn't tell me that," she says.

"Hannah heard the noise and came rushing in, asking if I was all right and what happened, and I tried to explain that it had just broken, but, y'know, there I am standing three meters away, and I could tell she didn't believe a word I was saying. Moral of the story, people are ridiculous and sometimes it all comes to a head and builds up. Dealing with the public is overwhelming, it's understandable to freak out sometimes. Do you want to talk about it?"

There's a hesitation before Lavender speaks. She's still facing the other way, staring at the wall, so Parvati can't see what her expression looks like. She reaches out, lightly squeezes Lavender's shoulder; Lavender reaches up and squeezes her hand back in return. "It was this kid," she says finally. "A mum came in to get her son fitted for Hogwarts robes, and she had a younger kid with her. Maybe four, five, I dunno? But anyway, I'm measuring the first-year, and I just hear the little kid go, 'Hey, mum, why's that lady look like that? What's wrong with-'" Lavender's voice cracks. "'What's wrong with her face?'"

"_Oh._" Parvati frowns. "Merlin, Lavender, I'm so sorry. Kids say really dumb things sometimes."

Lavender finally turns around, propping herself up on one elbow; her face is only inches from Parvati's now. Parvati hitches a breath, meeting Lavender's eyes. The scars - one across her jawline, one from her nose across her right cheek - stand out from Lavender's fair skin like they always had, but Parvati barely notices anymore.

Lavender's still gorgeous, after all; her hair is still luxurious, soft brown waves cascading down. Her eyes are still the same warm hazel, meeting Parvati's, but now they're welling up. "It's not the first time someone said something," she says. "It just - it got to me today. It's bloody stupid, after everything. That we saw friends die, that we went through - through detention with the Carrows, and here I am freaking out because I'm no longer the pretty one." A tear rolls down her cheek.

"You're still pretty," Parvati whispers, unable to form the words any louder. "And we can't help what affects us. It's not always logical." She had felt the same after breaking the glass at work; the racism from the customer had gotten to her in a way that she wouldn't have guessed. On the surface, it couldn't even compare to the horrors of the previous year, but regardless, it had struck a chord even though she couldn't fully explain why.

"Nothing seems logical right now," Lavender says softly. She brushes the tear away gently, fingers trailing over the scar. "And I hate - I hate how this is what I'm concerned with, I hate how I look and I hate that I _care-_"

And Parvati feels a rush of Gryffindor spirit, the same kind that filled her up back when she joined the D.A. both times, rebelled against the Carrows, fought in the Battle. This time, though, the recklessness is softer, and for far different reasons; she leans forward, and kisses Lavender, brushing the other girl's lips with hers. She can feel Lavender's surprise, and then she responds instinctively, relaxing into the kiss.

"You're beautiful," Parvati murmurs. "You always have been, I've always thought so. It doesn't matter what some dumb kid says." She can feel how fast her heart is pounding.

Lavender looks surprised, her eyes wide and round, but Parvati relaxes slightly; she doesn't look disgusted or angry, and she doesn't make a move to pull away or put distance between them. They're still laying so close together, and it isn't the first time that they've been on a bed, but it's the first time that Parvati realizes how intimate it truly feels.

"Do you-" Lavender's voice cracks slightly, and she clears her throat. "Do you feel something for me?"

Parvati pauses, thinking of the right words, because it isn't as simple as having a crush. They've been best friends for so long, not to mention the fact that they are no longer kids; they've been through hell and back, came out the other side, and nothing is simple anymore.

"I think there was always something," she says. "I remember in first year, thinking how much I really wanted to be your friend and be close with you. Looking back - it was probably more than that, but I didn't realize it at the time. And when the Ron thing happened -"

Lavender audibly groans at that.

"-I felt jealous, but I told myself it was just because you were spending _so _much time with him and talking about him so much. And then, well, there was a war on, and anything like that got thrown to the back of my mind last year. But Lav, I - there's nobody who knows me like you do. There's no one who makes me as happy to be around as you do. And you're still stunning to me, I don't even notice the scars when I look at you. And if that's what you mean by 'something', then yeah, I feel something for you."

She pauses for a breath.

"You've always been there for me," Lavender says. She reaches out, brushes stray hair from Parvati's face, her touch soft, gentle. Her hand moves to cup the back of Parvati's neck, and this time she instigates the kiss, slow, curious, exploring. When she finally pulls back, she moves, rolling closer and resting her head on Parvati's shoulder.

Parvati holds Lavender in her embrace, and she smiles. Maybe nothing is simple anymore, maybe a lot of things don't feel logical anymore - but this feels _right, _and at the moment, that's all that truly matters.

* * *

_A/N: Dedicated to the lovely mew-tsubaki, and also inspired by ch. 109 of her drabble collection 'you're nobody until somebody loves you', which I highly recommend!_

_This adheres to book canon, where Lavender is noted to be 'feebly stirring' after Greyback's attack and is not confirmed dead. I've taken that to mean she is in the same kind of situation as post-HBP Bill __Weasley. _

_Moral of the story, be nice to people in customer service :P_

_Thanks for reading, and please review!_


End file.
